A walk on the beach.. and a Revelation!

Sometimes it takes pain, frustration..and the ability to pause go for a walk on the beach, take a few deep inhalations and then out of the blue comes an a-ha moment, the wisdom!!!

It was one of those days..yes all people have them I do too..where everything apeared black and dull. I felt tired, my sinusitis hadn't still cleared completely so I was left tired, with a mild all-day headache that would go way only with a long savasana

.I decided togo for walk on the beach.. I was walking, breathing deeply, exhaling fully and listening to the udjayi breath of nature, the sound of the  sea, as yoga teachers often describe udjayi breathing.

I have a six year old daughter so as I was walking I started thinking about the way I was brought up and the way I am bringing up my daughter ( to a big extent telling her what I was once told). I started questioning all I have been told.I have been brought up in a pure way, always telling the truth (almost!!), striving to have pure relationships based on trust, respect and love.

The thing is I have always strived for authentic and true relationships based on love and without other motives..I have to admit at this point that I haven't always succeeded. I have been surprised to find out that some people were in fact manipulative and money orientated. So here is where the big question comes " how can a person striving for purity, love, truth, friendship meet and be with people so different, where is the match?" If you ask me what I would like to be able to say when I am eighty in my rocking chair about my life, in a nutshell is this  "I want to have loved deeply and have  been loved". I think that when one come sto the end of this lifetime that is all that is important LOVE, nothing else...So where and why  did these people fit? Deep Inhalation...a not so nice divorce...I am now 35 so almost at the midline of 80..maybe I should check and see where I am going..

Lovely daughter she is my everything, just thinking of her makes me smile!! I am so grateful for her!!  My partner is the definition of love (stuborn sometimes...inhale here!!), so supportive, loving and caring. He takes care of us and loves us on a daily basis. I am so grateful for him..thank you!(he is probably never going to read this!!).Thank you for forgiving me when I freak out and need to go for a walk by the sea! He is a yogi in life constantly reminding me to be present and keep going no matter what! My parents always doing their best, we do have our differences but when the going gets tough we are always there for one another. I am grateful for my parents without them I wouldn't be here or be the person I am today. My teachers always there to support me and share their knowledge.. deep gratitudel. My students whom I am so grateful for, they teach me so much everyday both on and off the mat..thank you!By now I was a bit calmer and thinking about the people in my present life, I thought I was doing a good job at cultivating true relationships and I knew why each person was in my life. All my relationships were based on respect, truth and were life-affirming!

 But what about the past..  No it is not who cares about the past, it is important to learn from it and I still hadn't anwered the question that kept popping up in my head "why had not so nice , untrustworthy, manipulative people appeared in the life of a "nice"person (that is me guys..) I am supposed to be the good one looking for love and truth remember? By this time I was asking myself out loud as  I was walking along the beach..it was cloudy, not very cold and there were many windsurfers in the water, a few sun-rays ..it was a great sight..then it hit me...the answer..

All those times..every single time one of those people appeared in my life was exaclty when I needed to be loved the most, to be taken care off ..exactly .. I was looking for someone else to love me, I was really low. I didn't love me and I was looking for someone else to do it for me. That was the revelation! So I was making a mistake that was key, looking for love outside of me, when I should have been looking inside  me the biggest and deepest love affair/ friendship we have  is with our inner Self. Then and only then we can love and be loved (yes I have read all that many times..thank you very much). That is why those people were popping up in my life..I needed to learn something from them..thank you for that, lesson learnt! Books are  not enough you need a teacher occasionally and that is what all the "difficult" people in our lives are here to do. They might come in any form as a parent, an uncle, a lover, a brother, a friend. When the lesson is learnt..they  vanish. Thank them for being our teachers, Send them blessings (if you can!!!), and keep going.

By now I was sitiing on a rock inhaling and exhaling enjoying the sea breeze.  A  stray dog was kissing my hand..mans best friend by far!!! The sun reveiled itself making my revelation even brighter .Maybe one day we will be lucky enough to have a family dog  to teach us all what unconditional love is!..
Unconditional love..
another day .. another walk..another blog.I have to get home to my Love now.

Thank you for reading my blog, please send  me your comments and experiences. Connect with me on facebook and twitter or subscribe to my blog.

Gratitude, Compassion, LOVE..remember the rocking chair!!

May you all be well,

Nefeli Makri